A part, yet apart...

*I chose the name of a song that really describes my situation at the moment. We carry a part of each other, yet we are so apart. A million miles apart. But it makes me feel so good, to at least be able to hold that in my heart. And no one can take it away from me. I'm in a state of mind that can only be described thru jazz, constantly inside of my head with neverending music surrounding me, day dreaming about days to come. Such happiness fills me, such determination. My skies are back to blue. Felling like dancing on clouds to 'Moonlight Serenade'. I cherish all the moments I spent with him, and to have the opportunity of being able to still be with him & talk to him at least everyday, after all that's happened, it just proves that life is worth living.
Of course, sometimes I get really low, and my head starts spinning 'What if I had taken different desitions? Would I've had the chance to be with him under better terms?' But no, things happen for a reason, and I will never regret anything that happened. It made me a stronger, better person. If I was decided to turn my life around for that one week in heaven, why can't I keep on track and spend the rest of my life in heaven? I think people should just chase happiness, and make their lives meaningful. it sounds selfish, but if I'm happy... Everything surrounding me would be happy too. I've got only one life to live and I'm determined to leave a trail of bright colours behind me. So that when I die, people know that I always fought to be happy, and overcome the darkness that always surrounded my life, and my existence wasn't in vain.
So my friends all laugh at me, or think I'm just crazy, but I laugh along, because I know they've never felt the way I do. It is so nice. And like just like Warhol, I wonder if this feeling will last forever...